


Separation

by JustJim, Useless_girl



Series: Home Is Where the Spark Is [4]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Aged up characters, Alpha Derek, Bottom Derek, Derek is Derek, Detective Stiles, Drama, Emissary in Training Stiles, Epic Romance, Established Friendship, Fluff, Humor, Love, M/M, Magic, Magic Stiles, Miscommunication, Mysteries, R (explicit), Sarcasm, Slash, Smut, Soulmates, Spark Stiles, Stiles is Stiles, Supernatural - Freeform, Top Stiles, Werewolf Lore, Werewolves, Wit, canon and non-canon elements, emissary bond, emissary stiles, high derek, m/m - Freeform, mate bond, matured Stiles, near death state, post-Teen Wolf, sterek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:01:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 23,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23265862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustJim/pseuds/JustJim, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Useless_girl/pseuds/Useless_girl
Summary: When Stiles has to go back to San Francisco, things take a darker turn, because freshly mated pairs aren’t supposed to stay apart so soon after establishing the bond.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Series: Home Is Where the Spark Is [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1607563
Comments: 4
Kudos: 101





	1. 4: Separation - part 1

**Note:** This is the fourth part of the “[Home Is Where the Spark Is](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1607563)” series. To understand better what’s going on, we recommend reading the previous entries. Enjoy!

 **Fandoms:** Teen Wolf, Sterek

 **Characters/relationships:** Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale

 **Rating/category:** R (explicit), supernatural, post-Teen Wolf, canon and non-canon elements, slash, M/M, Sterek, aged up characters, established friendship, Spark Stiles, Magic Stiles, Emissary Stiles, Emissary in training Stiles, detective Stiles, matured Stiles, Alpha Derek, bottom Derek, top Stiles, drama, epic romance, love, magic, fluff, smut, soulmates, Mate bond, Emissary bond, werewolves, humor, wit, sarcasm, Derek is Derek, Stiles is Stiles, miscommunication, werewolf lore, mysteries, near death state, high Derek

 **Summary:** When Stiles has to go back to San Francisco, things take a darker turn, because freshly mated pairs aren’t supposed to stay apart so soon after establishing the bond.

 **Disclaimer:** This is a product of our imagination and was written only for entertainment and fun. We don’t profit from this fanfiction and we mean no harm or disrespect against any real person, culture or custom that might appear in the story. All original pictures and fictional characters used in the story belong to their respective owners and credit goes to them.

* * *

**  
** [ _Just Jim edit_ ](https://jimtremor.tumblr.com/post/188959200151)

**Home Is Where the Spark Is  
** _By Just Jim & Useless-girl_

**4: Separation – part 1**

There was a strange kind of unsaid tension between them ever since Stiles asked Derek how newly mated wolves act. He still couldn’t place the surprised expression on the other man’s face. There was something he was missing. It was in Derek’s eyes. As if he blamed Stiles for not seeing it... And Stiles did blame himself. Especially from that disappointment he felt from the other man. Just thinking about it made his skin crawl and his stomach sink. He didn’t want to disappoint Derek. Not now that they finally got close. Not ever.

The dinner at Lydia’s was a few hours ago and the Stilinski house was quiet – well, except for the light snoring of his father from upstairs. But Stiles couldn’t sleep. He forced himself to stop with his research to let his body rest out the very eventful day. Each time he moved, he could feel it. Where Derek’s been... He was exhausted to the bone, but just couldn’t fall asleep. His mind was reeling too much for that. Replaying the whole day. Their conversation in the hall which ended up with them getting together. The shooting practice. The hot sex in the Camaro. The emissary bond (which he could feel even now while lying on the couch with tired eyes wide open). That strange one-sided conversation. He circled back to this latter the most times.

“This is ridiculous...” he mumbled to himself and struggled to his feet once the cover let his foot go. He stumbled only once more in the dark as he headed towards the staircase barefooted. He hesitated only at its bottom then climbed the stairs – avoiding the creaky spots. The young detective rubbed his hands in his Iron Man tee and boxers while standing in front of his bedroom door before scolding himself internally.

Stiles sneaked in as quietly as possible, closing the door behind him. _Here goes nothing_ , he thought and zeroed in on the dark Triskele tattoo in the middle of the naked back which was towards the door. Like a magnet, it pulled Stiles in and in a few moments he found himself slipping in behind Derek under the cover.

He knew... he _felt_ it... that Derek was awake too. He probably heard him coming the moment he got up from the couch... Gently sliding an arm around his middle, Stiles inhaled him and rubbed his cheek against said back.

“I’m sorry if I somehow hurt you with my question. I didn’t mean to,” Stiles murmured, unable to go to sleep without doing this. He didn’t imagine their first time in _his_ bed like this, but he was already used to the fact that nothing was simple with the two of them.

Sleep's beyond his grasp, mostly because there's somebody downstairs wide awake and _projecting_ it. Loudly. The wolf could hear every sigh, every grunt of discomfort whenever the human moved to try another position to get comfortable on the couch. He felt partly guilty about it, knowing he was the one who caused it, but it also made him feel ridiculously proud because _he_ had carved out a space to himself inside, had claimed him. Honestly, Stiles should be conked out right now from pure exhaustion.  
  
The dinner had been fine, Lydia had been curious about Stiles' life in San Francisco and they had talked about ‘before’ – about the people they all knew and where they were at now. Old friends catching up with a glass of wine and beer for Derek. The three of them had kept it light, hadn't talked about the difficulty of Beth's birth or the strain of her growing up so fast, it had been nice to mention forgotten names, share information about the ones they used to know, had been close to. Though Derek's contribution had been sort of sad. Malia had moved away to the college she had been accepted into and she had taken her distance from her cousin. It had been years since he had seen her or talked to her. Same with Peter, the older werewolf was off exploring the world, disappeared into the night. Derek had avoided talking about Jackson and he had lost touch with Ethan. Scott was the only one still slightly part of his life since recently. It had been Derek and Lydia since college life had started for the rest of them.  
  
Blinking in the darkness of the room, he heaved a sigh of his own, rolling over to his other side when he heard the soft footfalls coming up the stairs, along with the frantic beating of a human heart. He made space without even thinking about it, knowing the human would slip in with him. They had shared a bed before, years ago, to sleep, only ever to sleep.  
  
A cool rush of air hit his back when the sheets were lifted and a solid body settled behind him without hesitation, an arm slipping around his naked waist so the younger man could press as close as possible. Warm breath ghosted along his shoulders and Derek didn't bother turning around, Stiles knew he was awake.

"I know," he grumbled in answer, voice sleep rough and soft, his hand grabbing the one splayed on his skin to entwine their fingers. "You didn't know better, you're not a werewolf." It was all the explanation Stiles was going to get right now. Instead he kissed the fingers and closed his eyes. "Forget about it."

It was nothing but the truth. Then why did it hurt hearing those words? They were soft and quiet, but they also cut into Stiles. He wasn't a werewolf... he was a human and an emissary now. But it doesn't mean that he cannot understand if Derek tells him, right? He should be more than clear with it that Stiles wasn't a stupid human kid anymore. He's been through more than what the average human mind could endure and he managed to stay sane. To evolve. To keep bettering himself. He knew and understood many things that could lock people into a mental institute.  
  
Yet he could tell Derek wasn't going to tell him about it. It made him feel... denied. Locked out of something he felt he should know about. But he just couldn't put a finger on that nagging feeling. Why was it there, making him press as close as he could, fingers lightly squeezing Derek's?  
  
"You know those words don't work on me, right?" _Forget about it_... as if. Now these words only spurred him on to look into this too. Another topic to add to his research list. Damn, his emotions were still so jumbled up from everything that has happened that day. From the way that now he didn't have to reign in his feelings for Derek. The way the emissary bond was still slowly settling and getting stronger. Being this close to Derek was helping a bit, though. Stiles could feel the difference just from coming upstairs and practically molding himself around the other man. It made him able to breathe somewhat easier and his magic to calm down a bit. He was overtired both physically and mentally yet sleep was still playing hard to get.  
  
"But I won't press it right now. I'll figure it out," he mumbled into Derek's neck. Because yes, he eventually always figured things out on his own too. It was one of his talents that made him useful in the past and in his work too. He was going to solve this riddle too. After all... since the Nogitsune, he was better with riddles too...

A deep sigh, mostly because Derek had to acknowledge what they both knew, probably the most annoying quality Stiles had. Also one to admire. "I know." It also had the added bonus of having the new bond-mate press even closer, draped around him from lips to toes, their similar length making it a perfect fit. The exhaustion was apparent, it made the limbs move restlessly against his with twitches, and the human was feeling warmer than usual. Maybe he was too tired to be able to. Derek certainly knew that feeling of lying in bed, limbs heavy while the mind was still thinking too much to be able to sleep. With the other's ADD, that head must be busy all the time without an off button.  
  
"Stop thinking. You're thinking too loud." It made him grateful he wasn't able to read thoughts, they had some privacy with that. And Stiles no doubt had a mind so fast it would be hard to keep track of. The idea made him smile to himself, of throwing Stiles a mind-reader's way to completely throw them off their game and deal with a full-blown headache. Success guaranteed. It didn't solve the current problem though.  
  
There was one way to offer that mind-distraction, but they were tired so all he really did was move his hips a little, to wriggle his ass against the crotch pressed against him. That should halt all thought proceedings with an alarming full stop.

Stiles' racing thoughts did get to a screeching halt from the wriggling of that firm ass against him. It also produced a slightly choked up sound from him as he closed his eyes for a few long moments.

"We're good, you and I, so don't worry about it so much." If anything, Derek was usually the one making stupid remarks which hurt others, and he didn't always apologize for it either. He was an asshole, it wasn't much of a secret anymore to those who put up with him. It shouldn't be to Stiles at all. "Get some sleep."

Finally, Stiles chuckled into Derek's neck, his whole body now able to relax knowing that they were good. He didn't know he was so tensed up until it left his muscles and he finally relaxed against Derek's back. It felt right. It felt how it was supposed to be between them. It made his magic slink back into the background.  
  
"I would so explore that," here he lightly bucked his groin against Derek's ass "if we weren't both exhausted to the bone. Next time. I still owe you an orgasm," he kissed the steadily throbbing vein on the wolf's neck, chuckling low and sleepy.  
  
_Balance. It is all about maintaining balance_ , he thought. He shouldn't be surprised that it worked the other way around too. Namely, that Derek was able to calm him and his mind too. Not only with his words and actions, but with his closeness, warmth and scent too. He adjusted the pillow under his head in a way so that he could kiss then nuzzle the back of the wolf's neck, inhaling Derek with each breath he drew into his lungs. The promise of a good night sleep in this scent and without jerking awake from bad dreams seemed too good to pass on. His own hot breath puffed against said warm skin as Stiles sighed more relieved.  
  
"I'll probably give it to you in the morning..." he said, words slowing down. Beth was still at Lydia and his dad was going to work early. He probably will notice the lack of a sleeping son on the couch, but he didn't care. He was where he wanted to be, holding whom he wanted more than anyone else in his life. "Good night until then, asshole," Stiles mumbled already half-asleep, his last thought being how much he was looking forward to another day all alone with his... m-

"Sleep, Stiles," was all Derek said when Stiles kept mentioning sex. Beth wasn't here so that meant they could actually sleep in and not worry about an alarm clock waking them up or a toddler running into the room to demand attention. Weekends when Lydia actually stuck to her custody agreement were kind of nice for that very reason, the ability to sleep in when needed. Of course, the promise of Stiles giving it to him in the morning was one making his stomach twitch pleasantly at the thought while the human, who was the asshole in this case, was already sleeping, his deepening breathing puffing against his neck.  
  
Derek was a sucker for spooning in bed, he didn't really care who was doing it as long as they were plastered against one another, covered in the familiar scent. Despite being alpha, he had no hold ups about who got to be the big spoon because it said nothing about who the dominant was, only to those not secure in their masculinity or insecure about themselves. The Hale had nothing to prove to anybody anymore and to have his mate wrapped around him like this wasn't something he'd ever complain about.  
  
For a while he remained awake, listening to the calming beating of the human's heart, which was, for once, not as frantic. To the deep breathing as it ghosted along his neck, the way the arm around him felt heavy and relaxed, the fingers loose in his hold. A soft snore broke through the room, incredibly loud since it was close to the wolf's ear but he didn't mind. It was cute in a way.

Of course, after all the excitement, Derek didn't manage to stay awake the whole night, he fell into a deep sleep as well, exhausted from the day too. And he not once let go of the hand he was holding so he could keep Stiles wrapped around him tightly for as long as it was possible. For once not plagued by nightmares, not waking up kicking and screaming, in fact he didn't wake up at all, not even when the sun started streaming through the curtains.

***

_Stiles was in the woods, sunlight streaming down on him between the leaves of the trees. No... not sunlight but magic. Amber-colored. Warm and familiar. He felt warm and floating even if his bare feet were on the colorful leaves-covered ground. He was in his sleeping pants and T-shirt, face turned towards the light shining down on his motionless figure. It was quiet and peaceful. Something he hasn't felt since the Nemeton and the Nogitsune. It felt nice. He was safe. Calm. Protected.  
  
It felt like nothing could come to this place. Nothing dark or threatening. This place was sacred. Somewhere where he could rest, connect with his magic and be alone when he needed to. But... this time he wasn't alone... He opened his eyes and turned around calmly and maybe with a little surprise on his face, the "sunlight" bending and moving with him when he took a tentative step.  
  
He wasn't surprised by the presence of the Nemeton's stump anymore. It sometimes popped up here too so he had gotten used to it. Though... this time something was different about the way it felt to Stiles. Not threatening, but more... present. Whispering to him about something he couldn't make out. _

_The next moment a shadow moved behind it and a big black wolf with red eyes jumped on the stump, looking straight at him. There was a connection between the wolf and the ancient tree. Stiles could see it, the thin glowing ties. But it was alright and right now it didn't matter that much, because the wolf jumped off the stump and headed towards him. Stiles did the same, amber-colored magic swirling around his whole body by then as he dropped to his knees and opened his arms to wrap them around the furry body. The wolf made a pleased sound and let Stiles take his big head between his hands, putting their foreheads together.  
  
"Derek..." he whispered on a content sigh, feeling whole again..._  
  
Stiles woke to the sound of his own voice. He was reluctant to let that picture and feeling go. It was too good. But he did wake up, realizing that he was rock-hard and probably has been rubbing himself against said werewolf's ass for a while now. Not being embarrassed by that at all, he couldn't stop a smile and his arm tightened around Derek's middle, lips finding a shoulder. What a sight and feeling to wake up to...

Somewhere deep down in his subconscious Derek heard his name being whispered and it dragged him away from sleeping. With a sigh, he became aware of the soft bed, and the body sprawled mostly over him. They had shifted a little, Derek was more on his belly and Stiles was half on top of him, pushing something very hard and awake against him in a slow grind. Probably for a while now if the state of his own body was something to go by. He was hard as well, it wasn't urgent though, it was one of those things men often woke up with so they had gotten used to it. The body would take longer for it to demand it needed some taking care of. It made morning sex all the better, slower and more intense.  
  
"Hmmm," Derek tried, voice hoarse from sleep, brain not awake enough to form words because he wasn't that eloquent to begin with but he wasn't a morning person. Not before his first cup of coffee. The wolf did push his ass back against the firm hardness, feeling how it pressed against his cleft through their underwear. Maybe he just hadn't been a morning person because there had been the wrong way to wake him up. This was actually a method he didn't mind being woken up with it seemed, since he didn't feel grumpy, only sleepy and painfully horny all of a sudden. He smiled against the pillow, actively moving with Stiles now.  
  
This was something they could do now. They could wake up together and have sex together whenever they felt like. He had a boyfriend now, one who was crazy, sure, but also crazy in love with him, that he didn't doubt. It was felt like a pulsing vein between them, glowing in that golden ember-like glow. Stiles' morning breath tickled his ear and he didn't mind that at all, they were not going to get up for stupid human habits when they were at the start of something way better.

That single pleased grunt from Derek sent a jolt of lust down to Stiles' groin, making his cock throb pleasantly. It felt like a permission to continue, so he gladly did. He had made a promise, after all... It also warmed him from head to toe knowing... _feeling_ that Derek was _up_ for it...  
  
"Good morning..." Stiles purred into his ear, lightly nibbling on the lobe. It really was a good morning so far and Stiles was going to make it even better for both of them. As part of that plan, his hand moved down from the muscular stomach and disappeared under the waistband of the underwear. It was a bit trickier to take the warm erection in his had like this, but he managed and didn't change their position because he just couldn't stop rubbing himself against that fine ass. Oh he had plans with that for sure!  
  
For now his still a bit sleepy but quickly firing up brain was more occupied with making his hand smear pre-cum down Derek's impressive cock to make it easier for Stiles to lazily jerk him. The other thing was the realization that this could be their every morning. Waking up together and have lazy morning sex if they had the time and were in the mood for it. And creating the mood to get intimate with each other only took a _spark_... That thought made Stiles smile to himself as his lips began tracing Derek's naked spine from his nape downwards. He treasured every moment, making his heart leap in his chest and his emotions swell. Derek Hale was finally his and he was going to...  
  
A soft moan escaped him from that thought and he paused for a moment, pulling his hand back long enough to be able to pull his annoying T-shirt over his head. Skin... he needed more bare skin to touch. The cover was already hanging half-way off the bed when Stiles dragged their underwear off too and he continued jerking the hard cock and kissing Derek's back.

"I can smell myself on you..." he murmured a bit surprised, but didn't think too much about it. Instead his tongue traced the swirls of the Triskele, palm twisting at Derek's cock-tip in a sensual, slow motion.

Yeah, it was turning into a very good morning like this, and Derek didn't even feel one bit of guilt for turning into somebody who couldn't get enough of his partner, for enjoying having sex. Of course he knew his past had made him hesitant about it, made it that he had never been interested in chasing after lust. This was completely different. This was chasing after love. This was physically enjoying their bodies together, to constantly have mind and heart blown.  
  
A little dazed, he twitched in the human's grip on his erection, not sure if he wanted to push forward or backwards because the stimulation was coming from both sides. So he settled for moving his hips a little, letting the hand continue the slow exploration of his shaft, his pre-come spreading around it with slick soft sounds. It was made even better when the remains of their clothes were removed. Now he had the human on top along the entire stretch of his body, naked, pushing against him, the hard erection smearing wetness on the small of his back.  
  
"It's because of our bond. It'll stay." Or did he mean his semen from yesterday? Because Derek had showered and it shouldn't be something a human could pick up on anymore. Whatever the reason, it made him very pleased that even Stiles could smell it. It was a territorial kind of thing, important. Very arousing even. Moaning, he moved a little into the hand, but not in a hurry to put an end to it yet. The curl of pleasure in the groin area made his erection twitch. Stiles was completely in control now, and the Hale let him, if anything, his sleepy mind happily went with it, reveling in being taken care of like this. Knowing that the hardness he felt above him was something he was responsible for, he had made that happen.  
  
It might make the bond flare more, even more than it already did, by both of them being claimed like this. They couldn't be more intimate as they were, they were going all the way in every way.

"Good. Because I really... really love smelling my scent on you," Stiles practically growled as he continued his kissing and licking and lightly nipping down on the muscular back, trying to continue jerking Derek. "I guess it's like this for you too just on a much more intense level?" he asked just as he licked the dimples by the small of the other man's back. His moves were still lazy, but at the same time his mind was getting flooded by lust quickly – especially now that his prize was literally in sight.  
  
Maybe being a _loup garou_ was infectious after all, with the way Stiles adapted to more wolf-like behavior the longer they were together. Derek had never been with other werewolves but there was something very pleasing about having somebody who understood him on the same level. The human couldn't growl like an actual werewolf but he certainly tried hard to make the same kind of noise deep in the back of his throat.

"Way more intense, emotional." Look at him being able to utter words despite what Stiles was doing to him! That was progress. He didn't have the same capability as Stiles did to be able to have a whole conversation when they were having sex, he couldn't even string along a full sentence anymore. There was a tongue close to where he wanted Stiles, he was more than a little distracted here!  
  
"I can't wait to bury myself into you..." Stiles continued a bit more hoarsely, planting soft kisses on Derek's ass, his hand slowing down on his dick before letting it completely go. Instead Stiles' fingers grabbed the firm globes and pulled them apart. "... to mark you as mine here too..." he panted then leaned down, darting his tongue out to finally taste Derek the way he only dared in his most hidden fantasies about him.  
  
Fuck, he tasted so good! Musky and salty, making him moan against the glistening pucker, drinking in the sight. "Gorgeous..." And with that, he began rimming Derek slowly but thoroughly, probing his tongue occasionally. He was taking his sweet time to make his wolf lose his mind just as much as Stiles did on the backseat. Luckily now they had a whole bed for themselves.  
  
It was so very tempting to hear those words, to talk to Derek like that and conjure up images which made him leak into the bedding since Stiles had released him from jerking him off. A disappointed groan left him in protest at that, but it was soon replaced by a moan of approval when the hands found an equally good target and that tongue pressed right on the spot, making electricity dance along his spine.  
  
Doing it and having it be done to you were two very different things. This was new to Derek too. He hadn't known how it felt to have that warm and wet muscle lick at his hole, coaching it to open up and push inside. It didn't go deep like fingers, it wasn't hard and firm like fingers, but it was the wetness of it that got to him, the feeling of being petted and caressed.

"Lube... nightstand," Stiles purred after a while, lightly biting Derek's ass to give them both a breather. For a brief moment Stiles wondered if the other knew exactly where he kept the bottle. After all, he's been occupying his room for months. Did he go through his things out of curiosity? Instead of getting angry even from the possibility, Stiles found it hot somehow.

To Derek everything was more sensitive than to humans, and being licked was definitely something he enjoyed. Not as much as the biting of his ass though. "Oh god," Derek cursed when his erection gave a twist and a bead of pre-come at the playful nip.  
  
Derek rose up on his elbows to reach for the nightstand, fumbling around in the cabinet for the bottle. Yes, he had found the bottle when he had settled into the room and he had left it where it was. It had felt invasive to remove it. Even when it had created heated nights where he was imagining Stiles using that bottle on himself to orgasm in the same bed he was sleeping in. The bottle hadn't been used by him, he wasn't going to masturbate in the house of the sheriff and with a little girl in the guest room who could run in at any time and wonder about the smell. Yeah no. Finally getting the bottle, he tossed it on the bed, spreading his legs for Stiles as he arched his back.

Stiles chuckled satisfied both from how wrecked Derek sounded and from obeying him. So everything was much more sensitive to his heightened senses. No surprise there, Stiles guessed that it was the case during sex too, but he liked to have that little confirmation. It was something he will shamelessly use against Derek whenever he has the opportunity... Of course, he had noticed some of the wolf-like behavior and feelings he got, but it seemed Derek appreciated those and didn't think Stiles was trying to act like one on purpose. That would be a lie and he wasn't planning on lying to Derek. It was no use anyway – he was surrounded by living lie-detectors. Or at least was until he lived in Beacon Hills.  
  
Aaand... Derek did it again. Just like last night. He only had to move his body a bit and Stiles' mind went numb and silent for a few moments. The sight was breathtaking. Derek always had a gorgeously sculpted body – with time and probably the alpha status it got even more impressive. Seeing it being offered like that was a serious turn on for Stiles. Derek was waiting on him to give him more. That kind of control always gave him a head rush, but not actually strong enough to make the room spin... He had to close his eyes and take a few deep breaths before leaning back down, eyes on the prize.  
  
Then he abruptly froze and narrowed his eyes, thinking. He darted his tongue out again, flicking then pushing it into the wet entrance. Derek's reaction was just as intense as before and Stiles focused a bit more on the feelings that weren't his but came through their bond.  
  
"Wait a second..." he raised onto his elbows and lightly slapped an ass cheek. "Did I just get another of your firsts?" he asked, reaching for the bottle on the bed to lube up his long fingers. "Is this your first rimming?" he asked, hoping that Derek was going to be able to answer him with more than a grunt while the eager tongue pushed in as far as it could go – and Stiles began swirling it, pushing and massaging with his excess spit slowly dribbling down on the back of Derek's balls.

It may be unconventional for an alpha being willing to submit, but he didn't care all that much about what was deemed normal. Control was important to him, it had been taken away so often that he kept making sure that whatever the situation was, he would have a choice, needed to have the upper hand. It wasn't because he was overly dominant, it wasn't about being the alpha in everything. The Hale really disliked being used, to be without freedom of choice, thrown into something he didn't want to and nobody cared. So he took to being in charge, even as beta or omega, lone wolfing it to never have an alpha who would make him do things, like Peter had done. However, it was exhausting to always be alone, to always do everything. So in bed, to be able to give it up for his partner, to for once not make the decisions, it was a rush. That and he really liked the feeling of being taken.  
  
Stiles loved it, he always bossed Derek around, which resulted in their endless bickering and sometimes Derek let him. Because it was so very arousing to see the human take charge, something he had found out very quickly it seemed. They were both bossy switches, and it was working out perfectly like this. Almost perfectly. Because the younger man was too intelligent, picked up on way more than he should.  
  
The tonguing stopped yet again and two things happened at once. One, the playful slap on his ass apparently was something he liked because there was this needy sound escaping from him in a rush, and two, he was asked a question which he had no answer to because...well, that tongue was shoved in _deep_ and god, what was the question again? Stiles was going to be way smug about it, tallying up all the firsts he was going to take from Derek, and be all proud. Which was as cute as it was annoyingly frequent. He'd tell others, announce it because the human had no filters at all and figured anything worth fist pumping about deserved sharing. So as much as Derek wanted to give him the smugness, all that really came out was: "Ungh..." Probably an answer in itself, with the way he was getting close to an orgasm just from rimming. It was all _very sensitive_ , okay?

"I take that as a 'yes' both to my question and the ass-slapping..." Stiles finally mumbled and switched his tongue out for a long middle-finger pressing slowly but steadily in. The sight in itself was wrecking him even more. Watching as the tight ring was slowly opening up, Derek's body accepting him. He couldn't stop himself – not that he wanted – from pressing a soft kiss against the slightly reddened ass cheek. "I appreciate it, you know... You giving me your firsts," he said a bit out of breath as he kept watching his finger start to slowly move in and out, the tip of his index-finger lightly teasing the rim. "I think I'm gonna make you come first before making love to you..." Stiles announced and started working his second finger in, pushing, stretching carefully as he reminded himself this was even more sensitive to Derek.  
  
Despite the fact that the man beneath him was an alpha werewolf, Stiles took control with ease whenever it was handed to him. Be it in such situations or everyday ones. He loved to bicker with Derek, who could hold whole conversations just with his facial expressions. He loved to guess what he might tell him with those. But he loved it even more now that he could see him falling apart like this only from his tongue and touches.  
  
He never saw Derek give this much control over him to anyone besides him and that in itself was a rush to Stiles too. To have such a deep trust from the Hale. He knew how hard it was for him to open up and trust someone. He felt honored, really. He meant it when he said that he appreciated what he was giving him. He's been waiting for a long time for them to get here and now here they were. The big man slightly trembling splayed out just for him, enjoying himself. _Relaxing!_ If we don't count the sexual tension and anticipation.  
  
Stiles loved this. Loved to be able to give something so rare and intimate to Derek. He enjoyed being in control too, but had no problem with switching to the other role in any given time. Maybe that's why they worked so well together. He knew when to take control and when to let Derek be the alpha he was. But now... now Stiles was the one pulling Derek's strings...  
  
And with that he curled his fingers and started mercilessly rubbing Derek's sweet, sweet spot to make good on his promise – give him an explosion which would make him come and leave the wolf wanting more. Stiles was good with giving more. So good with that!

The fact that Derek had already been teetering on the edge made it impossible to not give Stiles exactly what he demanded. In fact, he had to hold it in to not come the moment that one single finger was pushed inside, proving that long fingers were perfect to use in many situations. He could feel the heated gaze watching him as the digit pushed in and out to make room for a second one and he trembled with how his body wanted to give into the pleasure building all over. The tight rim easily accepted them, because though werewolf healing kept him tight, it didn't mean it would always take forever to stretch him. Especially since he would heal right away anyways. The muscles gave in at the insistence of the hard fingers, testament of how his body was still in relaxed sleep mode.  
  
Derek was literally opening up for his mate, letting him inside in every way possible, every nook and cranny explored without boundaries. His prostate was found and that was it for him, it was the point of no return. Two firm prods along the very sensitive bundle of flesh and he went taut, muscles tightening as warning before he soaked the bed with his come, clamping around the two digits like a vice for a moment. It had been like being shot. It didn't flare, it simply happened like an explosion. It left him panting and shaking, stretched out on the bed instead of hovering on elbows.  
  
Not that the fingers disappeared, if anything, they were more insistent in stretching him, probably to coax out another erection. Was it possible for sex to feel too good? Because yeah, this was...  
  
He moaned, completely relaxed and completely at Stiles' mercy. If he was planning on having any right now with all the love and lust they were feeling.

"Oh god..." Stiles moaned along with Derek, his own cock oozing pre-cum and throbbing from what he saw and felt through the bond. A rush of pure pleasure. It felt as if it was his own feeling. As if he had come with Derek too, but he didn't. He focused on that trembling hole, squirting more lube onto his fingers as now three were working on the blissed out man with excitingly wet sounds. As he kept fingering Derek, Stiles couldn't stop himself from moving up and plant kisses against the tattoo on the middle of the other's back. He's always felt drawn to it for some reason and now he didn't fight that feeling.  
  
The fingers kept prodding, one more was added and Derek just… gave a long shuddering sigh, lying there and taking it, knowing it was preparation for more. Everything was sensitive, too much, so when the fingers slid along his prostate, he wasn't sure if he wanted to move away or back up to get more. The soft kisses made him want to stay so he instead canted his hips, raising his leg a little to allow for deeper exploration. The dirty slick sounds made his nostrils flare, taking in the scent of Stiles' arousal as well as his own seed’s. They were a furnace together, burning brightly and ever-consuming. His breathing came out in pants and rasps.  
  
Wetness dripped along Derek’s hole when the fingers were gone, leaving him gaping and clenching. A huff of laughter came out because there was so, so much lube, inside him, around him, on Stiles. "You know that bottle isn't one serve." The snark came but it was a sheer distraction for what he knew was coming next.  
  
Stiles’ breathing was just as ragged as his pair's, excitement and anticipation settling deeper into his bones too now as his patience was starting to wear thin. He felt his magic stirring, waking up, urging him to get inside for real. To finish what they've started the day before... Moving further up, he pressed his forehead against Derek's shoulder-blade, breathing shallow with that burning urgency in his blood and warming up body. He tried to reign it in, but couldn't.  
  
So he stopped fighting it and gave in, not caring about a little bit awkward and sloppy job with the lube, but more is better than less, right?  
  
"I know and…can't... wait... longer. I _need_ to..." he stuttered, trailing off, rubbing his forehead against Derek, hot breath ghosting along the defined muscles. Stiles' hand was already on his literally dripping wet cock's base, rubbing the tip along the glistening crack until its tip got caught on the rim, tearing a wrecked sound out of the flushed detective from the sensation against his by then oversensitive tip.  
  
" _Yes_ ," Derek breathed when Stiles said he couldn't wait longer, he had been ready since that first finger. The sweaty forehead pressed against his back along with the breaths ghosting along his skin made goose bumps break out all over, despite the thin sheen of sweat coating his olive skin. There was no offer of a condom and he didn't want one. They were disease free, Derek couldn't get sick and pregnancy wasn't a problem for them. Nothing was stopping them from barebacking for the full experience.  
  
Something hard slid along his crack, coated them both in lube even more, going down until... it found the furrowed opening, settling there for a second before the erection breached him. Stiles finally pushed in on a long and loud moan, coming _home_... It punched in all the way, taking Derek’s breath away when he felt Stiles' pubes against him, it was all inside of him. The magic was licking along his spine, settling where the thick hardness was.  
  
A soundless gasp left him, and he realized he was hard. Again.

Stiles wanted to say something, he really wanted to, but the second he was finally able to bottom out rendered him speechless and half-pushed him into a different dimension. He was very aware of everything Derek. And his body froze both to let him get used to his size and length, and for himself to catch his breath a bit. It was not just about the maddening hot tightness pulsing around him. It was also from the way his magic latched onto Derek, binding them closer together in a way Stiles couldn't really comprehend just tremble and sweat above Derek, fighting for air.  
  
He had never felt anything like this with anyone. It was obviously not just about sex since it involved his Spark and the magic all werewolves carried in them. It was overwhelming, too much, but at the same time warm and satisfying too.  
  
" _My wolf_..." Stiles laid his claim on Derek with those uttered echoing words and he felt his magic wrap around both of them, urging him again. So he began pulling out and rocking right back in. Slowly. Steadily. Sensually. Full of uncontrolled emotions. If his eyes were open, they would have been glowing in a bright golden light. That was nothing unusual by then. But this time, what neither of them noticed was the way the slightly moving tattoo on Stiles' back was glowing too, its golden roots slightly spreading down, going deeper.  
  
Despite all the lube which had been used far too royally, it was still too big and too much. It took a moment for Derek’s body to adjust, for his muscles to yield to the thickness as it demanded entrance over and over in slow thrusts. It never fully left, Stiles pulled out until the tip was still inside and pushed back in, never giving the tight pucker the option to clench closed. It was like being penetrated by molten lava with the way the magic attempted to spread deep, caressing, taking, wanting. A shuddering sigh left him, as he remembered how to breathe, the erection going in so much easier after that.  
  
Stiles moaned, sweat dripping down from his body onto Derek's skin, smearing, mixing their scents together even more – as if they were one being instead of two. Stiles didn't mind, he just kept up the sensual rolling of his hips, his cock starting to slide in and out easier. It was... out of this world. He blindly pressed more of his body against Derek, making more skin touch and rub together as he kissed into the fragrant neck, his muscles trembling non-stop.  
  
"Derek..." he called his name as if urging him to open up for him, for the magic and bond between them. He needed Derek to accept it... him. " _Please_..." he whined low, teeth nipping the salty skin at the crook of the wolf’s neck.

It was all overwhelming. Stiles didn't make love, he was carving himself into the wolf, he was laying claim to everything. Like a forest fire hungrily eating away at the trees, the essence of Stiles washed over Derek, wanting more, always more. It scared the crap out of him, because he knew what was happening, what it needed. It made him clench up, tense, grappling for oxygen which he couldn't find. The thunder of his heart roared in his ears, tasting of fear. There was so little of him left, if he gave it all, there wouldn't be anything if he was left alone again. He had given so much so often. "Stiles..." he gasped.  
  
His mate pressed against his neck, urging him and that fear? It left because deep down he knew Stiles was a good thing for him, the right person to give into. The magic wanted the life mate bond, it wanted to get through the final barrier which kept them from being what Derek knew they had always been. Stiles didn't know, he didn't know what he was asking, he was riding the high of sex and magic and love, carving away at Derek with every slow roll of the hips, with every deep thrust his cock made. It was a lost fight. Because he didn't want to fight it. The human was knocking on his heart, demanded to be let in when honestly, he had never not been part of it.  
  
"I _can't_ stop it. **_Stiles_**...."  
  
The gasped plea was the last of that paper thin wall, Derek exhaled and simply... let go. Muscles went pliant, the magic had free reign to take as much as the rest of Stiles did. Closing his eyes, he let the amber flood wash over him from the inside out, wrapping their bond into solid gold. It was one way, Stiles wanted it all but had no idea how to solidify a mating bond like that and yet Derek still gave himself, letting himself be bound to this human forever. His human. His emissary. His mate.

  
_Credit goes to the original artist_

A shuddering and desperate breath left Stiles just seconds after Derek gave in. For a few agonizingly long moments he was scared... no, terrified... that he wouldn't let him in. _'Let me in.'_ He wanted to use that phrase, but couldn't. It reminded him of the Nogitsune too much. But now, when Derek finally let him in, those words have finally found a new meaning, overwriting the dreaded memory with something beautiful and intense. Something that was just theirs. Something incredibly important and meaningful.  
  
His magic was out of control, but he didn't even attempt to stop it. He knew he couldn't. He knew it knew better and it felt right. So very right what was happening between them. So he didn't panic just let nature take its course. He never felt it so strongly and through it Derek so clearly. He felt Derek and his wolf side – how they were so very entwined, one strong being, not separate but a whole. He felt Derek's emotions. The fading fear, the giving in, the acceptance and love. Derek loved him. More than he let Stiles on.  
  
That made Stiles' emotions swell too, pushing him to the brink of crying, because he couldn't contain his love for Derek, or the feeling of being free and yet completely this man's. To that his magic turned, like a tide on the sea, washing over him in waves, taking everything from him too as it bound him to his wolf. He wasn't stupid, he felt what this was about, even if he didn't dare to think about it yet, because it was so intense and huge. But the magic helped him give back just as much as he was taking – maintaining the perfect balance for the bond to solidify and deepen. It felt so strong that it took Stiles' breath away, making his hands curl into fists around the sheets, his hips rocking into Derek.  
  
It felt like closing a circle. Finalizing something very important. Things were finally falling into place, working out as they were always supposed to be.  
  
" _Derek_..." he groaned into the sweaty neck then blindly planted soft kisses against his jawline and stubbly cheek, panting, burning, moving as deeply as he could go. It did feel like melting into one with this wonderful creature.  
  
Derek wasn't a lone wolf anymore.

Stiles may not know what this all meant but the magic sure did, it wasn't letting it be a one-sided bond. It connected them together fully, made sure there was nothing unfinished between them until there was a solid golden bond linked. It pulsed strong and healthy, created a rush of hormones and endorphins while their emotions were all over the place. Derek didn't know where his began and Stiles' ended, it was all wrapped into one because of the new connection created.  
  
Stiles was like a man possessed, still keeping up with his thrusts, going as deep as possible achingly slow. It was remarkable how the human was able to while they bonded, to keep up with the hip rolls, the drag of the erection in and out. The wolf wasn't even aware he was still moving as well, meeting the hips each time they slapped against his ass, grinding himself into the bedding. It was like their bodies knew exactly what to do while their souls were busy mingling together as well. He was sure it would have been too overwhelming if there had been more of a soul to connect with. As it was, Stiles' magic healed what was left and made it flourish, making Derek feel more like himself again after everything.  
  
Less lonely, less empty. The human was filling up all the empty spaces with his own energy and body, flooded the cold with warmth, took and gave. It wasn't as equal as it should be, Stiles had a lot of magic and a lot of soul and didn't seem to mind to share it. It meant some of Stiles was going to bleed over into Derek's behavior unless they'd find a way to fix his soul problem. He hoped they would, Stiles deserved to have a whole bond mate and not just the half.  
  
" _Stiles_ ," he answered, gasped out loud. Derek was close? Or was that Stiles? It was a heady feeling to not know which body was ready to spill and he hoped it was himself because he didn't want this feeling of having Stiles inside of him to end. Ever again.

Stiles' mind was too overwhelmed by all the magic and emotions and feeling Derek as if he was in his whole being. It didn't leave much room for thinking. He was acting fully on instinct, his body knowing what to do. They worked so well together. It was incredible and unbelievable. Stiles would've never thought such a thing was going to happen between them or it was even possible when he had first met the grumpy man in person as he confronted him and Scott in the woods when they were trespassing on Hale territory. They've come so very far since that moment.  
  
And now they were one – as much as Derek's incomplete soul allowed. He could feel the void, his magic filling it up, swirling in it as if searching for the missing part and also healing the 'ragged edges' of the remaining side. It wasn't like a broken medallion. No, Stiles saw it in his mind's eye like a constantly swirling bright source of energy, which made Derek who he was. Through the magic he could feel the pain, the loss, each wound his soul has suffered during his life. He realized that his cheeks were wet from his tears only when he leaned down and moved into a slightly awkward angle to be able to peck then lick into Derek's panting mouth. He needed him to feel that he was safe with him. His body, mind, heart and soul will be treasured and protected by Stiles until his last breath. He made that promise without words, but knew that Derek would feel and understand it through their now strong connection.  
  
"Come for me. Please... I need to come too. So overwhelming... and intense..." Stiles managed to pant against Derek's lips with his trembling ones. They were starting to go numb, his whole body covered in sweat and tingling and twitching as he kept fucking Derek, his hips starting to fall out of the rhythm – a clear sign that he too was at the brink of exploding. He didn't know just how long he would be able to go on like this, to take the strong flow of magic.

Derek wasn't even sure what was what anymore, as he wanted to point out when Stiles pleaded for him to come, but all that really came out of the wolf's mouth was this needy little whine against the trembling lips. It was a good thing they were alone in the house, they were going to be conked out the entire day in a mating bond bliss, like a married couple after their wedding night.  
  
Of course, his body knew exactly what it should do at the breathless command, the stunted thrusts bruised along his prostate and while sweat and tears salted his face, his own and his mate's, the warm body tightened like a vice, his balls drawing up as he came, making yet another mess on the bed. _Stiles… Stiles… Oh god. Yes, please more, yes. Stiles._ They were supposed to be thoughts, Derek didn't know he was uttering them in loud moans, the words spilling forth as much as his orgasm flooded. Normally he was the quiet one during sex, grunts and growls, moans sometimes. There was nothing quiet about him now as he clenched around the thick shaft while it still plowed inside of him with stuttering movements.  
  
He came from being fucked only, not a hand had touched him, only the rubbing of the bed. And everything tingled and pulsed and was wet from sweat, lube and semen. Their sex was messy, which he loved. He wanted the stickiness, the stench of sweat and ass, of them mingling together. He also didn't want to move anymore, just wanted to lay here with Stiles over him and in him while the room smelled of them. It was perfect and he hadn't known this kind of perfection.

That needy whine was like a bolt of lightning down on Stiles' spine, flaring his magic up along the vertebrae, leaving goose bumps on his sweaty back on its wake. He also bit Derek's bottom lip, his hips snapping forward faster and harder from the tightening he could feel happening around him. He let the lips go just when those wonderful, wonderful words spilled out of Derek and it became Stiles' undoing too.  
  
He's never heard anything like this from Derek before. The way he babbled his name and his need loudly over and over. It became Stiles' new favorite mantra for sure. He already knew he wanted to hear this again! It was just as big of a rush to him like the convulsing and coming body under him. It broke something in him in a good way and he also quite literally exploded in two ways. One was how his cock pulsed and throbbed and bathed Derek's clamping walls with his seed. The other was his by then visible amber magic. It burst out of him in a huge wave, covering their writing forms then swirling around them like a whirlwind while they were coming, completing the bonding on the peak of their blinding pleasure.  
  
_Sex magic_ , Stiles thought before his mind completely went blank and he was yelling a mix of Derek's name and curses and hoarse – nearly howl-like – moans. Like a dying beast, but he didn't care, because it was just so fucking good he wanted to cry again. He loved it. Loved it all! The dirtiness, the unlimited flow of their desires and emotions for each other, the binding magic, the writhing of their sweaty bodies, their yells, the scents, the sounds... It was beyond perfect and the best sex he has ever had.  
  
But the best of it was the warm feeling of finally... **_finally_** coming _home_...

Derek was dimly aware of Stiles coming as well, their mutual grunting and groaning and spilling. It was all too much of everything, it was literally mind-blowing sex and for a long time he just laid there panting, pupils wide, body spent. His healing had already taken care of the discomfort which would have happened if he hadn't been a werewolf, all that remained was the soft cock nestled within because Stiles hadn't moved yet either. Almost as if he had a knot to keep them tied. It was why Derek didn't dare to even twitch, he didn't want this to end, wanted to keep his mate within.  
  
They should talk about it, at some point, because bonding like that was important. It was forever and ever, pretty much werewolf marriage with how solid it was despite it being new. But then the doubt hit. Sure, the human had asked to be let in, no, there hadn't been asking, it had been a demand. But did he know what he had done or had it been the Spark within talking? And Derek had shamelessly accepted it, hadn't even put up a fight, so eager to have what he wanted that he didn't even stop to think about consent issues. He had let Stiles in and it was glorious and beautiful but what if Stiles didn't want this? _Oh god._ What if he'd freak when he'd find out how resolute this was? The fear of being rejected was too much to want to bring it up. It could wait, it didn't matter.  
  
Settled with his decision, he instead kissed the hand of his mate resting next to his face. The entire room stank of ozone and magic on top of sex, it made him feel covered by a protective blanket. His eyes felt puffy from tears, happy tears but still unused to shedding them, except when in the throes of a nightmare.

"I didn't know it could be like this." It was a whisper, an admission, maybe his way to show gratitude for being introduced to the wonderful world of sex.

Floating. Stiles literally felt like floating, but he knew he wasn't doing that for real as he could feel Derek's warm and firm body still under him, holding him, keeping them as one. But his mind was a completely different thing. The white bliss stayed for the longest time he'd ever experienced. He had no idea either that sex could be like this too. Sure, he enjoyed his previous occasions, but none came anywhere close to _this_. This was something... entirely else. Otherworldly. And he was already addicted, because he knew it was going to be like this each time with Derek. Maybe not this intense, because he _knew_ this was a very special occasion that has already changed their lives forever. He could feel it in his bones, in the calming down humming of his magic, in that bright golden bond between them.  
  
He was suddenly so drained and exhausted to the bone. It took a long time for his heart and breathing to go back to normal as this had put a huge strain on his still mostly human body. But something was still going on in the background, kept changing and Stiles knew that once he slept on it, everything will be different. It already was, but it’s going to be even more.  
  
He smiled against Derek's back both from the kiss on his hand and his words. "With the right person, it can be like this, yes..." he said and it was not his ego talking, but stating an universal fact. "I never felt anything like this before either... You're... _seriously amazing_... Don't even have words," he sighed happily then finally gathered the strength to move. Even if Derek was a strong werewolf so he wouldn't crush him with his weight, it had to be getting a bit uncomfortable for him.  
  
He reluctantly slid free of that fine – and very much marked up – ass with a wet sound. It made him shudder both because his cock was too sensitive and because he loved that sound. If he had enough energy left in him, he would've crawled down to pull the cheeks apart and admire the sight of Derek's hole gaping and oozing his come. Maybe even would've eaten him out... But now he was too tired and his head still too floating to do that or notice the shift in Derek's emotions and thoughts. Instead he flopped down on his back right next to him, a hand lightly caressing the wolf’s side and arm as he turned his face, noticing the remains of the tears. His own were nearly dried.

"You okay?"

As much as Derek'd like to take credit for it all, he couldn't. The amazing part was from the bond they had already shared and made just now. It was intensified by all that magic so yeah, he couldn't agree with the statement. They were that amazing, together, creating electricity like no other could. Instead he agreed to the not having words for it with a soft grunt. Because that? _That_ was something he was really good at, lack of words.  
  
The grunt turned into this disappointed sigh when Stiles decided to move off of him, pulling out with this wet squelch and the wolf could feel the come trickling down to coat his balls. The way he was still open and he missed feeling something inside. It was a good kind of longing so he didn't move, reveled in the feeling of it before it would all tighten up again. His mate flopped down beside him, echoing the way Derek felt. They were too tired to move, he was fine with just laying here in the same position as Stiles had put him in. They should probably cover themselves with a blanket at some point for the sake of a certain sheriff coming home. Grabbing a pillow, he burrowed his face in it for a moment, inhaling the scent.  
  
"Yeah," the mumbled reply came from the pillow before he rested his cheek on it, looking over at the human. "It was too much of everything, they started watering by their own choice." Happy tears, it was as strange a feeling as it was to cry over something sad. To have salty water running down for no function at all except to show emotions.  
  
Derek felt like he hadn't slept for days and ran a marathon without werewolf strength. The bond, the magic, it had drained them more than actually making love. He didn't want to call it sex because this was more like mating than anything else. Didn't want to cheapen it despite his doubts and fears over what just happened. Stiles was going to go back to San Francisco, they'd have long distance and Derek would willingly wait for him without any problems. He had his pack to build, connections to other hunters and supernaturals to keep up with, friendships... And maybe within time, the forever part wouldn't be such a scary thing to admit to. Because at the moment he wasn't even sure if Stiles realized he had been the one to initiate it.  
  
_Let me in._ The words hadn't been uttered, they had been 'Derek' and 'Please'. But the phrase had been there in their link, pulsing. It hadn't wanted a please, it had wanted a yes. And Stiles probably had no idea.

Stiles smiled at Derek sweetly and made himself roll on his side so he could reach out to caress his cheek, his thumb wiping away the remains of the tears. It was somehow such a gentle and intimate moment shared between them as they didn't break the eye-contact. Both still had a little color in them. Red and amber. They were slowly pulsing in the depth of their irises.  
  
"Yes, it was too much but also perfect," Stiles murmured then just kept drinking in the sight of the other man. Was it possible that he saw him even more beautiful and alluring? Even more as **_his_**? This man right here was his and no one else's. Who would've thought that Stiles could be so very possessive over someone? But frankly, it didn't surprise him that it was Derek. He's been pining for the brooding wolf for years. He had wanted him as his just as long. And now he _was_ Stiles'. He knew that with a kind of certainty which made his heart swell and at the same time calm his deeply rooted fears of never being wanted by Derek. He just had to look in his eyes to see that that was never going to happen. They were too deep in this.  
  
It put another soft smile on the younger man's face and he ran his thumb over the full bottom lip. It was hard to control his swirling emotions, which – for a change – rendered him silent. Everything seemed and felt amplified and too deep and intense all of a sudden and his throat closed up, but he focused on staying calm.  
  
"I'll get us some water and clean us up a bit. Then it's cuddle and sleep time. Be right back, you just stay here and keep being gorgeous," he finally found his voice, carefully and slowly moving to the edge of the bed. Standing was a funny thing, because each of his muscles was protesting. They felt heavy and stiff. How could his mind be still floating while his physical form felt like lead?  
  
Either way – with some uncertain steps he grabbed a water glass Derek had left on his desk and walked butt naked into the bathroom opposite his room. He drank straight from the tap then filled the glass before wetting a clean washcloth with lukewarm water. He made a quick job with cleaning himself, all the while feeling Derek's eyes on him through the open doors. It was so funny how that could still make the tip of his ears color. Frankly, putting a little physical distance between their bodies was a bit grounding. At the moment Stiles could more or less suppress the need to crawl back over Derek to become one again. Not that either of them would have the energy for that, but the need to be as close to him as possible was constantly there.  
  
Stiles was an endless source of energy. Even now when Derek was pretty much refusing to move at all. But not the human. He had flopped onto his back, rolled onto his side, fingers caressing and exploring softly. The wolf let him, watching him with half-lidded eyes full of warmth, accepting that part of him easily as well. They were opposites in so many ways, probably why they worked so well.  
  
Stiles was all restless energy, quick wit, big mouth which talked miles a minute, socially awkward, sure, but very well-liked. He was good at technology, researching pretty much everything he could on the internet and used his phone like an extension of himself. An outgoing, geeky but friendly guy.  
  
Whereas Derek was silent and mysterious, sticking to the shadows and sidelines, going days without a word being uttered. He owned a laptop for banking and another one for repairing his car, used his phone for calls and text sporadically, preferred reading books. He was a snarky asshole and didn't socialize much, yet managed to gather a steady and small group of friends. They shared a love for comic books and liked the same movies and shows. Derek secretly could kick Stiles' ass at computer games and they loved to bicker about everything. They worked, they had always worked, even when they hadn't. It was why he knew this was a good thing.  
  
All of that went through his mind as Stiles studied him in marvel, fingers finding the older man's lip now to caress, transferring emotions, and for a moment Derek thought there was a panic attack about to happen. It didn't. Instead the human busied himself with getting water and cleaning himself up, while having Derek's alert eyes on him at all times to make sure the panic attack wasn't silently transpiring in the bathroom. That and he did enjoy watching his naked mate walk around like that, at ease with himself. There were tattoos now and muscles, he had filled out more over time. He was still, as he had always been in his own way, beautiful.  
  
Back in his room, Stiles gently cleaned Derek up in silence. It was a comfortable one for a change and Stiles refused to let his mind overthink everything. For a while he just wanted to enjoy the peacefulness of these automatic and gentle moves after giving the other man the glass.  
  
Stiles was silent, so very uncharacteristically silent. At first it was fine, it was the companionable one but the other used the washcloth to clean the alpha back and front, it became a little unsettling. Taking the cloth from him, Derek threw it into the bathroom with a perfect aim, getting the glass of water handed over as reward. It wasn't an offer, it was a motion that pretty much told him to sip from it or else... A small smirk played on his face as he did exactly that, before putting the glass back on the bedside table. He stretched out on his back, everything healed and back to how it was, which was a shame, he never could enjoy feeling his mate for days.

"You're quiet."

"Huh?" Stiles stopped staring at the messy and creased bed sheet and flashed a small smile at Derek to that. "Yes... I guess I am. The legends are true... Stiles Stilinski does go silent at times – and not just when he's sleeping," he made a gesture in the air with his hand as if revealing a big secret. And with that snatched the edge of the cover that was still more or less on the bed, dragging it up with a tired huff before lying back down on his side, his front touching Derek's side. He wriggled until he slipped under a muscular arm, putting one leg over Derek's to let their feet mingle then he covered them up to their waists and put his head over the other man's heart, its steady beating further calming his nerves.  
  
"I'm just thinking about what just happened. How intense it was... **_is_**. Not just physically but metaphysically too. I never felt anything like this. It's overwhelming even if I love it. I love it that it happened, but it also scares me shitless with its intensity," he murmured, slender fingers drawing lazy circles on Derek's warm skin and playing with the dark chest hairs in turns, his scent invading Stiles' nose in the most perfect way. "Maybe I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop because this is just... so perfect. _So huge_. I'm not sure if I'm worth it, if I deserve it. To finally have whom I wanted for so long... To let myself be truly happy. Because you make me so happy, Derek..." he sighed, his body and magic under his skin buzzing contentedly. "My life's been so empty without you."  
  
He wanted to be finally honest with Derek. Not that he would have tried seriously lying to Derek in recent years, but he didn't say out so many things which have been gnawing at him on the inside for so long. He figured if there was a time to speak his mind about some of his worries, then it was now. Despite their bone-deep tiredness.

"Hm." The only times Stiles was quiet was when he was sleeping, knocked out or near a panic attack. Or if he was working figuring something out. Derek had always watched the process with surprise. The way Stiles would stand before his large board full of photos, articles and strings, it was how he imagined the brain looked like, full of pictures and strings to connect happenings faster than should be possible. If the human was nervous, he'd babble and turn even clumsier, if he was angry, he'd make sure everybody knew it. A really quiet Stiles would never stop making him worry. Because it wasn't Stiles.  
  
At least his question got him to sidle up to Derek, covering them up so that would be one worry less. He was pretty sure Noah was expecting them to have sex but that didn't mean he should find out by walking in on them all naked.

The older man let Stiles wriggle close until he was comfortable, the wolf's fingers caressing the pale skin of a shoulder in a slow pattern. This time it was his turn to be quiet, which wasn't that different from the normal. It was a relief to hear Stiles had no regrets, kind of echoing what he had been thinking about as well even though in the reverse.  
  
It made him quiet, to think Stiles was the one to consider he wasn't worth it, that he didn't deserve it, like Derek was some kind of big goal to reach. He really wasn't. Derek had many issues, life would not be boring with him but it would be also dangerous. And that was the part that scared him, letting Stiles in when he got out of Beacon Hills, drag him into this world again. That had already happened though, there was no going back from it, which meant he was going to have to make sure to keep his mate safe along with his daughter.  
  
"It scares me too," Derek said, and it wasn't so strange they had that feeling, considering how their lives had gone. "Nothing can ever be this good. You're... You were safe and now you're going to be in danger again because of me. But I selfishly wanted, I wanted you, wanted to be happy for once with a partner. And I'm sorry for that."

As he was silently enjoying the caresses on his shoulder, for a moment Stiles felt relieved that he wasn't the only one scared. Going slow was never an option for them after dancing around each other for years. Once they agreed to try it, it was as if the Universe wanted them to make up for all the wasted time and pushed them together all the way – literally. Flaring up things in them which Stiles didn't know about. He felt like he didn't know a lot of things still and it bugged him on some level, but also knew that when it was time, he was going to learn. He was wiser by now than the hyperactive teen wanting answers to everything in an instant. He had learned that life didn't work that way.  
  
Derek's last sentence however made his emotions and magic stir up again, a strong sense of disapproval filling him, his golden aura shimmering just over his skin. "Don't be such a stupid ass!" Stiles exclaimed clearly upset as he lifted his head, irises bleeding into a golden color again. "Never feel sorry for wanting me. I'm fucking yours. Been for a very long time if you haven't noticed..." he grumbled, lips curling downwards and he had to take a deep breath and close his eyes to concentrate on calming his emotions and magic down. It was harder than before.  
  
"I've never been safe. Not as a stupid kid. Not in high school when I started running with you and the others. Not as a detective. Do you think I haven't run into supernaturals in Frisco? Do you think I never had to shoot someone? Do you think I ever forget what I did while possessed? How I still fear it could happen even with my anti-possession tattoo, even if I know it works? I will never be safe because I'm human. Not so defenseless anymore plus I have my magic, but still... I'm a smushie human. So stop thinking that 'I've got out', because I never did," he answered Derek's thought without knowing. "Being on your side is safer anyway. And that's one of the reasons why I began dabbling in magic. To protect you and everyone I care about. Including myself too," he opened his glowing eyes, unable to fully reign in the seeping magic and upset feeling. "And I'll do that. Protect. And let you be selfish about this. I want you to want me, Derek. I want you to be happy with me."

The anger came as surprise, and Derek’s eyes widened at having that peaceful moment completely shattered because of something he had said. Not exactly new, he had a tendency to get people riled up and he had pushed Stiles like this before. Still, he felt guilty for it as he stared at the ember-flared eyes directed at him. The scent of an oncoming panic attack was lingering again, making him tense up, as well as this ball of emotions he nearly felt as his own threatening with choking him. There was anger and disapproval and it wasn't his.  
  
He needed to hear it though, as much as he didn't want to, as much as he wanted to make his mate stop talking and stop making so much sense, he listened. Quietly. Because yes, Derek had thought the human had been dealing with detective business in San Francisco, not supernatural detective business. Which was, in hindsight, a little ridiculous considering the fact Beacon Hills wasn't the only town with werewolves and he knew that all too well.

Lowering his eyes, he glanced to the tattoo, so that was what it meant. Anti-possession tattoo, like the Winchesters had but a different design. It was smart, considering what had happened with the Nogitsune, considering that Stiles always had that door open in his mind, that little bit of darkness inside. Something Derek still felt responsible for, because Jennifer had forced Stiles into it. The human had done that ritual to save his father.  
  
It wasn't Stiles' humanity that made him a target though, it was his Spark and the fact he had been around wolves. And now he was going to be a huge target because he was an alpha's mate. They were going to have to keep the druid part a secret as much as they can.

"Stiles, you're my emissary, I am selfish about it, there's no take backs with this." But that did nothing to stop the magic flaring up, if anything, he only started to feel more upset because Derek hadn't realized how clinical that sounded. The eyes were nearly shooting fire at this point so he reached out to touch Stiles' cheek, to get his full attention.  
  
"I'm not used to being happy. But I want to try with you." His grip tightened a little. "I wouldn't have made love to you if I didn't want you. I don't do one night stands." Sex for the sake of sex wasn't his thing, never had been and never would be.

The mess that was Stiles’ emotions was getting even more jumbled up from the growing anger and slipping control. The panic was starting to creep up at the edges again, because he couldn't stop it. He didn't want to be angry at Derek, but he was upset and Stiles had difficulties pushing that down and sorting his feelings out. Not to mention that now his magic got into the mix too. It bubbled up in him from Derek's words. They hurt and it nearly felt as if his magic was... pouting? It was crazy.  
  
Even so, the second Derek's warm hand touched Stiles' face, it helped him focus on the touch and the warmth. The words that followed making him relax a bit and regain control over his shallower breathing. He hated dancing on the verge of panic, but got much better with it during the years and it showed.  
  
"I get it. I am not used to being happy either. I mean... really happy. It always eluded me. I was happy, but not... _happy_ happy. It sounds stupid, but it is true nonetheless. I am babbling again..." he sighed, feeling the starting anger begin to recede, his magic pulling back and getting more steady again. "I know you want me. I want you too. So much. Just... please do not feel sorry for being selfish about the emissary bond or being with me. I chose to be with you. I wanted that. I want you," he repeated and leaned in to kiss him on the lips. A bit more force than to make it chaste or gentle. It was nearly desperate, because he wanted Derek to understand his words. To understand that he wanted this between them.

He knew, the moment it happened that Stiles had very little control over the magic, it flared along with his emotions. Much like a newly bitten werewolf would struggle, Stiles had triggers but his anchor was clear as well. The moment his hand touched the skin, it calmed. Which probably was going to need training soon and that wasn't going to be easy with Stiles in San Francisco. Druids weren't well known, they often kept their identities hidden and the pack there most likely weren't so keen on having a new emissary trained with theirs. If they even had one. It was not always the case. An emissary was an advisor, one to restore balance and packs were stronger with one but that didn't mean they all had one. Stiles was powerful, like Jennifer had been, he was going to need somebody equally strong and trained.  
  
_I want you_ , he said. But Derek didn't know if it was the human talking or the magic. There were doubts, fear of forcing the one he loved into a bond he didn't want. Fears he didn't mention, he couldn't, it ran too deep to blurt out. It would make him vulnerable to utter it, it was too soon and it was all too much. So he didn't say anything at all and returned the desperate kiss, hand clasping to the back of Stiles' head to keep them locked for a moment longer.  
  
Maybe he couldn't say much, maybe words weren't his friend but he could show through actions. Derek poured everything into the kiss. Yes, he wanted this, he wanted Stiles, there was no regret in what happened, not in the car and not just now. Whatever their future was going to bring, these moments were going to be forever theirs and nobody was going to take that away from them.

"We'll make it work. I can come to you in the weekends when Beth's with Lydia, you can come here in your free time. In time we'll figure something out."  
  
It wasn't ideal, to have to be apart all the time but Stiles had a good job over there and Derek couldn't keep moving, not with a child. She needed stability, bad enough they had to move again once the loft was ready. No, it wasn't great like this but after years of not having anything, they should be happy with having something.

Stiles' whole being shuddered with relief when Derek returned his kiss and kept him close and grounded with that hand on the back of his head. He quickly stole a few more pecks – obviously not being able to get enough of Derek, even if he was tired to the bone both physically and emotionally – before letting him talk again. The amber was now only shimmering in his irises as he was looking back into the other man's eyes from close.  
  
He could feel fear in Derek. Fear of the future? Fear of how they should do this? Fear of Stiles not being able to handle this? He didn't know, but he could feel it was rooted deeply. He could've asked, but Stiles was cleverer by then than not giving Derek some space. He knew how much the wolf hated being cornered. The last thing he wanted now was to upset Derek and make him close up and with that effectively closing him out too. Stiles wanted him to be open with him, but also knew that because of the way Derek was wired and all the tragedies in his past, he had to be patient. Give him some time to share his deeper thoughts. And maybe one day his deepest fears and needs too. He very much hoped that it was going to happen. That he would trust him with those secrets – which Stiles would keep and treasure. Then he focused on what his pair was saying and it kicked more gears into action in his buzzing mind.

"I've thought about this too... Yes, I'll have to go back in a few days and just thinking about it makes me feel... agitated," he confessed grimacing and nuzzling even tighter to Derek, if possible. He rested his head on Derek's shoulder now to be able to keep looking at him as he talked. "I know it's not an ideal situation for now, but yes, we'll find a way to make it work. We have to. I'm all in this, Derek. I'm not going to give up on us now that we are _finally_ together! I just wanted you to know this. I want you and Beth and the pack as an integral part of my life. I also understand that I cannot uproot you and her and the pack. Beacon Hills is your home. The Hales have lived here for a long time and you are the protector of this land and the Nemeton," he continued. "So I'm thinking about moving back. I have several reasons now. You being the biggest," Stiles stroked along a muscular upper-arm.  
  
"I could've stayed with the FBI, become an agent. I know I could have been good at that job too, but I didn't want to. The furthest I could move was Frisco. And after all these years it still feels... alien. Not home. My home is here, with you and Beth and my dad and the others. I know this might sound strange or even stupid after just a few days knowing that you are back and have a daughter, but it's so clear to me now. And I want to come home now that it's filled with life and warmth again. But I have to go back now to sort things out. I... or rather _we…_ also have to talk to my dad. About us and moving back. I could commute to Frisco and ask them to put me into another kind of shift so I could spend more time with you and the pack and any supernatural shit that might occur on our doorstep. Or if it doesn't work at the department, I can always ask dad if there's an opening at the station for a detective job," he mused, talking fast again to voice as many of his racing thoughts as he could.

It once again rendered Derek silent, the idea that Stiles wanted to move back for him because nobody had been willing to do that for him before. If anything, they mostly couldn't wait to get away from him if the opportunity had presented itself. Not Stiles, he was already thinking up all kinds of scenarios, all involving him to be able to be part of Derek and Elizabeth’s life.  
  
He'd never ask from Stiles to do that, and it was something they were going to have to think about. They were riding the high of the bonding and it could change, maybe? Not their feelings, he wasn't worried about that, but there might be regrets in leaving a good job behind. It was too far away to commute daily but yeah, obviously there were options and they had time to talk about it, to think about the next steps and what was best for the human. The Beacon Hills department was just a sheriff and his deputies, the county didn't need a detective but maybe, with all the deaths in town, an opening could be created. Derek had to admit, the idea of Stiles working with Jordan was one he liked, because it was safe to be around a hell hound.  
  
The human rambled on, Derek was only half listening because he knew this was Stiles uttering his many thoughts without a problem. It could be annoying to be subjected to the word vomit but it was also something he admired and wished he had more of. He was so closed off that when he tried to voice thoughts, he'd turn into this blunt asshole because only a few things came out and they always came out wrong. Stiles' weakness with this was that he could railroad right over others, his thoughts too busy to allow an opinion in sometimes. He could get insensitive with it too.

"I will make sure the loft is ready soon and whatever you need, we'll work into it." It would be good for Beth too. She was used to having grandpa Noah around, and she was quickly warming up to Stiles as well. Werewolves weren't meant to be solitary creates and she needed others around her. Cora wasn't the ideal person for a toddler to live with, it would be good if Stiles would join them at some point. "I wouldn't mind moving some day but... it's too soon after Hell." He had no job he needed to think of, his job was owning buildings, selling them, or renting them out. Sometimes investing wisely paid off, the old money had been doubled and tripled and then some.

"Nah, no need to move out of Beacon Hills. It's my home too," Stiles waved him off before placing his hand onto Derek's chest again, lightly caressing it. "I'll need the blue prints for the loft to see exactly what you have in mind for it so I can work my ideas in. But as I said, I'll want to help there too," he went with the new topic, his mind switching to it smoothly.  
  
He nearly voiced his question ‘ _Do you realize we are nesting_?’ to Derek, but rather bit his tongue. He knew wolf pairs tended to do that too. And they were essentially building a family home. And then Stiles suddenly froze and blinked at Derek with a soft smile.

"You want me to move in there, don't you?" he asked with some warm fuzzy feelings, his magic practically purring in him like an instinct-based beast. For a second he wondered if that's how Derek's wolf side felt to him. Of course it was different, but still...  
  
He was also kinda amazed by the fact that while the onlooker might have found this rushed and strange, for them – or at least for Stiles – doing things differently and "faster" (there were those years for foreplay, for god's sake!), planning their future together, talking about moving in together came naturally. It felt right. Like the puzzle pieces finally fitting, giving out the bigger picture.  
  
"Besides, if I moved back, I would be closer to Deaton for training. If he takes me as his trainee. Because I'll need guidance and training for my magic. I can already tell," he thought out loud, unwittingly kinda echoing Derek's earlier thoughts again.

"I have it all drawn out, I can show you later today. For the entire building." Of course the loft was their home, it was their floor and the rest of the building was going to be apartments for pack and communal areas. It was Derek's way of being excited, to offer the drawings, to hear his mate's input. It made him incredibly happy to hear Stiles wanted to have input and ideas, wanted to be involved together, didn't force Derek to make all the choices because as far as building went, he was fine. It was the decorating he had no idea about. And it was scary, to build another home, in Beacon Hills, to lay down roots instead of running.  
  
Even if he still had the rights to rebuild where the old house had been, which he didn't because he owned the land but it had been deemed unfit for building due to the preserve being a nature park, he wouldn't do that. It would be like living among ghosts and he was doing enough of that since he came back from Hell. They were everywhere. Laura was buried on the land there, he didn't want to come across her, the idea of it hurt too much. The loft building was huge, it was on industrial ground without memories and he had bought the rights to make it into living spaces. It needed a lot of work to make it a family home but it had so much potential.

When Stiles froze and blinked at him, Derek returned the gesture. "Yeah, it'll be our home." He wasn't the kind of guy to use the word ‘duh’, but it was heavily implied here. The wolf didn't do things half-way.  
  
He didn't see the point of making a home only to live apart again. Why even bother with it when they were fine with accepting the fact they both had lives and friends, they both wouldn't cling unless they felt like clinging. There had always been an ease to it.

"You're going to be over at the loft all the time anyways by the time you move to town, so why bother? You can make it your home as much as you like, it's not like I'm good at that." It's a lighthearted joke. Maybe he was good at it? Sure he preferred Spartan living because he was well aware that everything could be taken away in a few hours. He didn't have stuff, didn't have pictures or personal items but he had never bothered to make a home. The loft had been his first attempt.  
  
Even the apartment in New York had been all Laura's touch, and Derek hadn't been back to it. So owning a couch and a lamp and a bed, having something resembling a house, it had been a big step. The only reason he felt safe there was because it was one big open space. At the top of the building so in case of fire, there was always the way down, there was no basement to get locked in.

Derek's happiness showed in his green eyes, in the small details of his facial features and it warmed Stiles to see and feel that. But what melted him away completely was how natural it came to him that Stiles would move in with him. It told two things to the new emissary. One, Derek was just as invested in this and smitten by him like he was with the wolf. And two, he planned much further ahead than Stiles' busy mind could. It meant a deep confidence in their relationship. To that realization, Stiles rolled half-way on his man and kissed him silly. Now his heart was beating and swelling happily.  
  
"Yes. I'll move in with you," he giggled against Derek's lips and pecked them a few more times. "I can also help in the decoration. Just don't involve Lydia, because she would go waaaaay overboard..." he rolled his eyes then sighed happily.  
  
Once he did move back – because heck, there was no turning back after such a nice invitation – Stiles knew that he was going to be busy working on the loft and trying to train with Deaton (if he accepts him as his student), plus entertaining a toddler. But he wouldn't want it any other way.

The smile that broke out on Derek’s face at hearing that Stiles would move in with him as soon as he figured out his next steps was unstoppable. Of course it made the most sense to do that, to him, and he would have respected it if there was more time needed, they had that time to do it in any way they wanted to, quick or slow, find a middle ground. Derek wouldn't have suggested it if he wasn't sure of them, because it wouldn't be good for Beth to be exposed to boyfriends who wouldn't stay, she needed the stability to get over the trauma of Hell. Honestly, Derek needed it too.  
  
"No, not Lydia. Beth can pick out things for her own room and we can do the rest." Well, Stiles could do the rest because Derek did want it to be more homely for his cub and since he so didn't care about any of that, he was going to rely on the human to help out. If Stiles wanted posters of movies or comics, he was fine with it. He was also fine with the collection of figurines he just knew Stiles had collected now that he had a job to be able to afford the toys. The loft was big, there had been rooms he hadn't even used and he could knock down a wall to get to the rest of the floor the loft was on. "I don't want to involve Lydia."  
  
Lydia was his close friend for years but having a child with her hadn't done their friendship any good. The way she had handled the pregnancy and had kept manipulating him into doing what she wanted by blaming him for not being good enough, even now to this day, wasn't easy on him. It wasn't good for Elizabeth to have a mother who wasn't as involved. She tried, Derek knew Lydia tried her best and he wanted her to be part of Elizabeth's life. But not his as much anymore.  
  
"We'll go over the blue prints today, but just after a solid – at least – ten hours long nap," Stiles adjusted the blanket and put his head back on Derek's shoulder, trying to find a comfortable position. "It was an eventful morning," he chuckled.

Pulled out of his thoughts, the Hale smiled at Stiles and agreed on sleep with a nod. It was still early morning, they had plenty of time to get some solid hours of sleep, order dinner and go over the plans. Probably inform Noah while they were at it. Kissing Stiles on the top of his head, he relaxed, getting ready for another nap.


	2. 4: Separation - part 2

**4: Separation – part 2**

Sleeping on Derek's side – okay, practically smothering him with his body in an attempt to be as close to him as possible – was something very new and already precious to Stiles. He didn't even get embarrassed when occasionally some drooling came into the picture. It just showed how exhausted he was and how comfy of a pillow the warm werewolf body was to him. For the rest of his days at Beacon Hills, he sneaked up each night to his old room to sleep like that, using the limited time they had before Stiles had to leave.  
  
Stiles also had to admit that playing house with Derek and Beth was something he utterly enjoyed. Their trip to the zoo and going trick or treating were fun times and also something new. He started to feel like being part of the small family. They also needed those few days for the bond(s) to strengthen and more or less settle. Needless to say, his dad had zero surprise on his face when they had told him that they were together. Noah was the Sheriff for a reason and his "It was about high time" comment and expressing that he was happy for them in the end made Stiles get up and hug his dad for long. And chuckle when Noah looked over at Derek, warning him that he had wolfsbane-laced bullets. In case he hurt his son.  
  
To avoid thinking about getting separated, the lovers went over the blue prints of the Hale building, spending hours with talking about ideas – and bickering about them – how to renovate the loft and the other floors for future pack members and guests. It was a good way to get even closer – and end up kissing and groping more than once. They didn't have many opportunities to make love since their mating, but when they did, it was nearly as earth-shattering like on that fateful morning.  
  
But the day came too soon when Stiles had to say goodbye to his dad then Beth and Derek. It was hard to get in his jeep and leave Derek with the little upset girl on the curb. As he drove off, he looked back at them through the rear view mirror for as long as he could. He felt literal pain in his chest.  
  
And it hasn't stopped ever since he was back to San Francisco. That pressure in his chest stayed and as he tried not to think too much about how alien his life back there felt now, it only got worst. The texts and phone calls weren't doing it – he was literally aching for Derek. His magic wasn't any better either. Stiles had noticed that he was starting to lose control over it. It was stronger and fiercer than ever. Growing and bubbling restlessly under his skin, making his fingers spark at odd times, light bulbs to flicker or pop. He had gone to his witch friend to ask for her help with the control and to learn a ritual that might help Derek with his missing soul.  
  
Still, he was getting worse. He didn't want to scare Derek, but he was sure he could feel something through the phone and their alpha-emissary bond (Stiles still didn't know for sure about their mate bond). Stiles barely slept, had problems with concentrating on his work and keeping in control over his magic. As he lay alone in his bed, clutching at his stomach and curling on himself, he literally felt homesick. When Derek asked through text if he was alright, Stiles didn't lie and told him no. When he asked if he should visit during the weekend, he said 'yes, please'.  
  
The promise of that visit kept him get up each day to go to work and start organizing the future changes in his life. To ignore the physical, mental and metaphysical pain he was in. He suffered in silence, though, and waited Derek's arrival to his apartment like the second coming of the Messiah or something. He couldn't get there fast enough in Stiles opinion.

Time with Stiles had flown by, they had known there were only days to spend together, and it had seemed like two weeks was way too long before they had gotten together. Until it wasn't enough at all and having Stiles leave was too soon. Suddenly his bed was empty at night, Elizabeth's entertainment was his sole task again and it was only her babbling he heard during the day. Despite living with another human and a hybrid, it felt lonely suddenly, achingly lonely.  
  
Noah had taken one look at him the day after Stiles had left, had clasped his shoulder and nodded. "I never get used to him leaving either, he takes up a lot of space despite his scrawny built." Which was true, Stiles had a presence to him. He made people talk, he'd have music on or the TV, he asked questions and never got bored with anything he did, or he wouldn't be doing it. Derek had a Stiles-sized hole in his days. No more frantic groping and making out during nap time of the toddler.

It was funny, Derek's ex had said that the Hale wanted a white picket fence kind of life and he hadn't been ready for it, one of the many reasons they weren't together anymore. Derek had been insulted at the idea of him wanting a settled life, until now. Now he got it, that yes, he did want that family life like he used to have before it all went to hell. And he wanted Stiles to be part of that too. For years he had been fine with pining from a distance and now a week without his mate was a week too long.  
  
They called, they texted, never before had Derek been glued to his phone as much as he was now but the feeling of _wrongness_ only intensified. He felt restless, had trouble sleeping and food wasn't as appealing anymore. Stiles sounded off on the phone, but Derek couldn't catch him on a lie because through the phone he couldn't hear the heart skip. There was a strain in the voice though and he had a feeling that most of what he was feeling, came from his mate. They were both homesick, maybe it was the bond, maybe they hadn't spent enough time together? A mating bond 𝑎𝑛𝑑 an emissary bond was rare so he couldn't exactly look it up unless he'd talk to Deaton, which he didn't want. After days though, the pain had turned physical and deep down he knew his mate needed him.  
  
A quick text to ask if he was okay had confirmed it, because he wasn't okay. And that had urged the wolf to make sure Lydia would take Beth for the weekend and had Melissa and Chris as backup in case she ditched last minute. Because he wasn't of much use like this to his pack anyways, they had to sort this out.

Friday evening, after Beth had been picked up, he threw a bag in the car and headed to San Francisco since that was easier. Checking in and out, the flight itself, it would be as long as driving, it was only three and a half hours by car after all. Late in the evening Derek had reached the address Stiles had texted, and being this close to his mate already made him feel better. Armed with his bag, he eyed the building Stiles had an apartment in. It looked friendly enough but then, San Francisco did have that with a lot of buildings, unlike New York where nothing was friendly. Probably why he had felt at ease the years he had been living there – it had matched his mood.  
  
Locating the name tag and number of the apartment, he pretty much raced the stairs to knock on the door.

Derek couldn't get there fast enough. He texted Stiles before leaving Beacon Hills and by then Stiles was literally counting down the minutes. He put on some music on the TV to have some background noise aside from his shallow breathing. He was trying to keep himself together by then. Work that day was exceptionally challenging, eating up a lot of his energy to contain his magic from manifesting in any way and the pain of missing Derek from crippling him. He was exhausted by the time he stumbled into his apartment and locked the door behind him.  
  
He fell into bed and had a restless nap before Derek's text. Since then he was trying to repeat his mantra that would more or less contain the flaring up magic, manifesting as a fiery and restless amber aura around him. He was unable to pull it back in. It needed an outlet, but doing some smaller magic tasks wasn't going to cut it. The dark bags under Stiles' eyes from lack of sleep and the trembling of his hands intensified. His breath was coming out as a wheeze with each shallow breath as he was lying on his side, clutching at his middle from the pain – like he did in the last few days. He pressed his eyes shut. He had heard enough times that everything happened in the brain and he was trying to will the pain away. It was as if his veins were on fire, pulling at him, scorching him from the inside. Pressing, burning, demanding an outlet. But he couldn't give that to his magic. Derek wasn't there. Stiles had a strong feeling that he could do something with the excess magic that was too strong for his too tight physical human form by then.  
  
He was half-conscious by the time he heard that knock on the door. For a moment he thought he had only imagined it, but nonetheless he dragged himself out of bed to stumble to the door. He cursed himself inwardly for not leaving it open, because just going from the bed to there felt like a huge effort. Still, he tried to put on an 'I'm fine' mask out of habit when he opened it.  
  
Aside from his father – who's been mostly oblivious to the supernatural world when the real shit had gone down – there hasn't been anyone who would truly and deeply care about his well-being. He used to be just a human. The people he had surrounded himself with had bigger problems than his mental health – even if they looked out for his physical one.  
  
But not Derek. As he opened the door – clinging to it – and saw his expression and the worry in his eyes, he knew Derek cared about him for real. He knew he was close, he could feel it with some time. And having Derek standing there in his familiar outfit and expression made something ease up in Stiles' chest.  
  
"Derek..." he rasped and literally fell against him as his legs finally gave out under him. Stiles was clinging to him for dear life, inhaling all that was Derek.

It was supposed to be a happy reunion, but instead when Stiles opened the door, he had his arms full of human, and not in a good way. The moment they touched, pain invaded his senses, almost making him recoil at how much of it there was. Almost. Instead though, he leeched some of it away, letting the pain darken his veins to black as he took it in. He wasn't exactly sure what was going on but he had an inkling of an idea with how Stiles was clinging to him. It had to be connected to their bonding somehow.  
  
"You should have called me sooner." He should have said something about the pain he was in, the discomfort he had been feeling. Or was this some human malady after all? To be fair, the wolf didn't know that much about human sickness so he didn't know where to start looking for what was wrong. Instinct told him that perhaps a hospital wasn't the right place anymore for a human with magical abilities. They'd pump him full of morphine and that was about it. What else could they do if this wasn't a human ailment? They'd probably be reluctant to let him go if he got admitted because they didn't have allies in strange hospitals.  
  
Stiles looked bad, like he hadn't slept since he had left Beacon Hills, or ate. His face was disturbingly pale. It reminded him of the time the Nogitsune had plagued the human. Gently lifting the younger man, he closed the door with his foot, moving the human to the couch because he needed to know where to take him. Hospital or back to Beacon Hills, to Deaton. Maybe Beacon Hills would be the best option regardless with Melissa and Liam's dad working at the hospital there.

"What's happening?" Derek pushed some of the hair away from Stiles' face, holding his hand tightly with the other to keep pulling the pain away.

"Not the... reunion I expected either..." Stiles chuckled low. Derek didn't have to say that, like before, he reacted to his thought. It was an unconscious thing he barely noticed he's been doing. Derek's closeness was a good thing, though. First it was cooling and calming him down for a few moments then it moved all the massive amount of magic accumulated in him. The fiery amber aura was back around him, covering his whole body and sneaking over to Derek through the black veins in his arm.  
  
Stiles gave him both an apologetic and grateful look for sucking some of his pain away. It helped him think a bit more clearly as despite his paleness, thick sweat drops slid down from his hear line, the white tank top drenched on his chest and back.  
  
"I'm sorry... It wasn't this bad until today. It grew with spikes during the week. Like jumping ahead... too fast. It's my magic..." he panted, knuckles turning white and trembling around Derek's fingers. "My body can't keep up with it. There isn't enough room in me... can't contain it... Needs an outlet..." he stuttered, forcing himself to push Derek's hand away. "Don't take too much..." he warned Derek, knowing what it could do to a werewolf – especially an alpha. He had heard how Derek had managed to save Cora in the past. Sacrificing the alpha spark in him in order to heal her poisoning. Stiles didn't want Derek to do that for him.  
  
"Stop apologizing," Derek grumbled because there was nothing to be sorry about. This was related to magic which meant he should have known better, he should have ducked into the books and see if he could find anything on it before he had let the younger man leave. This was on the alpha for not taking care of his own mate and letting him handle it all by himself.

Derek frowned angrily at himself as he watched the amber flood his veins as much as the darkness of the pain did. Taking too much wasn't going to happen unless the Spark was dying and even then, there was too much magic for Derek to weaken enough to have to use his own alpha spark. A sacrifice he had never regretted to be honest. It had saved his sister's life and he'd do the same for Stiles without hesitation if it ever came to it.  
  
Unfortunately, the human had other ideas about it and stopped him from taking more. Derek may be stubborn and hardheaded and used to always sacrificing himself, he wouldn't go on if he didn't have consent. A human body couldn't take pain in the way a werewolf could, it could go into shock and the pulling of pain at least took some of the stress on the system away. It wasn't healing, it wouldn't take the source of the pain, it aided in helping the source heal. And he was used to pain, it would barely settle in his body as he took it before his own healing kicked in and took care of it. Pain pulling however took a lot out of wolves, even alphas.  
  
"I need you to..." Stiles started saying but groaned, his eyes beginning to glow in amber as another wave hit him, but with a warning look he stopped Derek from trying to take his pain away again. Instead a shaking hand reached into his jeans' pocket and pulled his pocket knife out. "... open yourself up to me through our... Alpha-Emissary bond... and take the excess magic until it... balances out... and the bond fully settles, " he tried to explain, getting more and more out of breath, but he tried to concentrate on the task, ignoring the dark spots starting to dance at the edge of his vision or the way he started to go lightheaded. Stiles flipped the knife open and turned his forearm out, starting to etch a rune into the pale skin with the tip of the knife. He knew he didn't have much time left so he decided to explain things later – really fucking hoping that this was going to work...  
  
"Take the jacket off... I need your arm. Hurry, Derek..." he whispered then bit down on his lip to muffle a groan until he tasted blood in his mouth.

When Stiles reached for the knife, his eyes widened, not sure what it was for until it started to cut into delicate flesh. There was a protest on the tip of his tongue, the need to reach out and stop the blood from welling up but at least he recognized the carving wasn't at random, it was to make a drawing, a rune. Because strong magic like this required blood, or lives, it never came without a price. Jennifer had been the living proof of that.  
  
Hastily shrugging off the jacket, he hiked up his sleeve to offer his arm. He had no idea what any of this meant, besides knowing that Stiles needed him to take the magic. It seemed unstable, hungry even, pulsing from Stiles in waves.

"Do it, do whatever you need to do." He could take it, he always could take it, he was at least good at that.

"Stop blaming yourself," Stiles uttered as he risked a look up at Derek's scowling face. He could feel it even like this, but he had no time to dwell on it. Instead he grabbed Derek's offered right arm and concentrated on keeping his hand with the knife steady enough to carve the rune in the werewolf's skin. He muttered some magic words on a long forgotten language to keep the cuts open, knowing that without that the skin would heal up too fast.  
  
Dropping the bloody knife on the floor with little care, he let Derek's arm go just until he turned his, lining up the runes. The room was spinning by then and his vision was getting blurry as he felt the magic swell even bigger, pushing at everything that was Stiles.

"Whatever happens... don't let go!" he warned Derek and slapped his arm down on Derek's, the runes sizzling and snapping together like magnets. Stiles' fingers dug into the tense muscles of the other man's arm and started chanting.  
  
The cuts were only a sting, they went deep enough to make blood flow, but compared to the injuries Derek had in the past, it wasn't a big deal. The prickling sting remained due to a spell, which he didn't question because of the wound not healing. It was part of the ritual, it was needed. Unfamiliar with rune magic, he watched quietly as their arms pressed together, not realizing the transfer would start right away. Because as soon as the skin and blood touched, it was like a switch was flipped and they had turned magnetic in an instant. Long fingers clutched his arm, pressing into the skin and muscles in a bruising grip, but the bruises would fade probably even before they had noticed them.  
  
Stiles felt it. The magic, like a huge lazy monster tremble and move, gaining momentum. The Celtic tattoo was starting to glow through the white fabric of his tank top on his back, his eyes glowing brighter than ever as his dry mouth kept chanting the words he was told to use. And then like a hungry tsunami, the first wave shook his body, making his fingers dig deeper into Derek as if bracing himself. Which was very true, because he felt and saw the magic light up his veins under his skin – as if he had gold instead of blood in them – as it rushed down through his arm and found the connecting rune. Like the only door where it could leave. The outlet it has been craving so much that it had raked havoc in Stiles’ being like a wild beast.  
  
The moment the first wave rushed into Derek, Stiles' glowing eyes rolled back into his head and his chanting became louder and more echo-y, falling deeper in his trance-like state, but the relief was visible on his face and the way his whole body shuddered. But he never let Derek's arm go as a bigger wave flowed out of him.

For Derek it was kind of like watching a volcano explode, to see the burning lava erupt from the opened crater, flooding its self-made path so fast that there was no way to avoid it. The only option was to stay there and watch it come, trickling from Stiles to fill up the arm before it found the opening into Derek and his own arm started to glow. It was what he imagined doing drugs felt like, to push a needle in the skin, press the plunger while fire entered the body in a rush. Thick burning lava sparkled through his blood, through his body, pulsing along it to take over. He didn't even know he was on his knees with his eyes closed, he wasn't aware of anything anymore as he slumped.  
  
Another wave hit. It wasn't pleasant but it wasn't overly painful either, it was overwhelming and all consuming. Nothing else was there but the pure amber-colored fire licking at his bones from the inside out, taking away his breath, his heartbeat, his thoughts. Red blood trickled down their arms to entwine, dripping to the floor and onto the couch while white noise filtered away all sound. It was like the entire apartment was filling up with magic, making a sweltering heat, an unnatural kind of static in the air.  
  
The Hale felt like he was picked up and tossed around while being in this protective-like bubble, as if wrapped in bubble wrap while some unseen force made him meet the walls and floors over and over. Like being skinned alive but too drugged up to notice it, bared to the bone, stripped from everything. And yet...  
  
Safe.

The bonds – yes, in plural! – and rune connection were wide open. Derek was doing this perfectly. It was quite painful for Stiles at first, but as more and more waves of his accumulated magic rushed over to Derek who was absorbing each so perfectly, the pain was starting to slowly ebb down, the pressure in his head and body lessening a little bit with each pulse through their burning forearms. The half-lit room's walls were painted by their and other shadows thanks to the light of his magic rushing along their arms and the glowing tattoo on his back, the amber-colored roots and branches spreading over his back and shoulders.  
  
He didn't feel when he slid off the couch too to kneel opposite Derek, but there he was, his other hand clasping the back of the wolf's neck, their other arm still tightly linked by magic and blood and physical grip. Pressing his forehead against Derek's, he kept up his chanting, the scent of wolf and ozone filling the crackling air around them, mixing, just like their energies as the magic kept licking against Derek, but less overwhelmingly. It took a few minutes, but it seemed to start calming down somewhat, as if realizing that the outlet will be kept open as long as it was necessary.  
  
Stiles could feel the rush Derek had. He experienced the same, although he was more focused on not being in excruciating pain anymore. It was going to stay in his bones and joints and muscles for a while, he knew, but he didn't want to claw his own organs out anymore, which he considered a big progress... He also ignored the... other effect the much needed magical outlet had on his trembling and sweat-drenched body in order to try helping the flow get steady between them, his lips never pausing with the chanting which finally seemed to take more hold.  
  
He opened his eyes and watched the familiar face from close, his fingers caressing Derek's nape as the magic was now pulsing calmer and steadier between them. He felt his heart swelling and beating faster now not because of the strain his magic had put on his body, but because of his feelings for Derek. He certainly would have died or gone mad if he didn't come to help. And he took it all, without hesitation, without any sound of pain. He was his perfect opposite to achieve the balance they needed to have between them. Stiles could feel it so crystal clear like an epiphany. It all made sense to him now. Everything. And he accepted it just as openly and without hesitation like Derek.  
  
They were one on so many levels.

There was a dim awareness about Stiles being there, the constant chanting in that familiar voice, more like a hum in the background. A strong grip was keeping him from toppling over, clasped by the back of his neck. It was more of a support to keep him grounded instead of a force to make him stay put by bodily strength. The rest was not something he could feel anymore. Not their foreheads touching, not their arms clasped together. Not even the intense way those amber-colored eyes studied him.  
  
He focused on breathing, every exhale like a dragon spitting fire, sweat collecting on his olive toned skin. While Stiles' muscles were overly strained and painful, his own were relaxed, lax even because his body was focusing on dealing with the magic. It was a lot, more than their bondings had given them the last two times. It was also a raw kind of power, starved for an outlet only he could give. It was a most definite overdose, which luckily an alpha's body could handle. Because it belonged to his mate. Maybe deep down the magic realized that kind of distinction, instead of making him feel like he was going through a shredder, instead of making him cry out in pain, it decided to mute him with painless fire.  
  
Of course the discomfort grew the longer he was exposed to the overflow, his body struggling to keep up. So it decided to give in instead. His head felt hazy, and everything felt good, the magic still pulsing to him but at a much slower rate. Stiles' arousal was heavy in the ozone air, the scent of pain diminished but not gone. The scent of death was gone though, so he knew the danger of losing his mate had passed. He had been just in time then, if he had been but a day longer, he would have been a lone wolf again, struggling with a lost mating bond and a lost emissary.  
  
"I'm so hot," the Hale whispered, mouth dry and his tongue feeling like it was too thick to fit, making him slur in his speech. He was hot inside and outside and everywhere. So much heat.

Derek looked and felt so out of it, but Stiles couldn't blame him after what he just had to endure in order to save him. It made him feel a pang of guilt, but at least he and his magic didn't give pain to him. That was something that maybe made this situation a bit better, right? Though... he sounded as if he was... high? It would certainly be a first to see this wolf like that.  
  
Either way, Stiles closed his eyes, letting his senses focus on the process going on both in him and Derek. It seemed the magic had finally settled, dwindling down to a small steady stream in the connection between them. It didn't mean, though that Stiles had "emptied" himself. No, he had plenty of magic left in him, but all that painful excess magic was now in Derek – kinda like "stored" in him – and a part of it kept flowing between them like water calmly licking the shores.

So Stiles deemed it safe to start finishing up the ritual with first changing the chanting he's been doing so far so relentlessly. To his words he felt the runes start to burn their skin a bit hotter, but before it could've become too painful for him to bear, he reached the last line and the physical connection broke with some sparks and sizzling sound. But the metaphysical seemed to stay to some degree. He knew deep down that if he wanted to pull on that bond, he would manage to get more power from Derek. Which was a useful thing regarding their future...  
  
He kept Derek upright with that hand on his nape as Stiles glanced down on his arm. It was bloody, but the rune wasn't bleeding anymore. It looked more as if the rune was burned into his skin permanently. Which was probably the case for him – and maybe even for Derek.  
  
"Alright, my hero. Time to help on that heat and for some cleaning up," he said exhausted, but out of the two of them it was still him who seemed to be less out of it. Of course, Derek wasn't used to magic like him and he took such a big doze now like never before. To return the favor at least a little bit, Stiles tugged the drenched shirt off his warm body, tossing it aside before he helped Derek more or less stand with pulling a heavy muscular arm around his narrower shoulders. "Bedroom's not far. Come on, big boy..." he grunted and started half-dragging the muscular wolf there.  
  
It took a few minutes like this, but Stiles managed to gently drop him on the bed, starting to work on pulling the remaining clothes off the other man, except for the underwear. His own quickly followed too and he left only long enough to bring two damp towels and a first aid kit – the latter more for himself. He started with washing Derek off with the cool towel, making a quick job at it because Stiles was still a bit disoriented. Then he did a quick job at disinfecting their wounds and wrapping them up in white gauze before he used the other towel to wipe most of the sweat off too.  
  
"You okay?" he asked after dragging Derek a bit more up on the bed, watching him with some worry.

Derek didn't need help, he wasn't the one who had been at death's door and he was a werewolf, he was fine. Except maybe there were no words coming from his mouth? Stiles wasn't reacting like there was a sound from him, and his tongue did still feel like it wasn't working. The lights in the apartment seemed too bright, Stiles even seemed too bright with that ever-present ember glow hovering around him, pulsing and glittering like a disco ball. Derek wasn't even aware of the ritual being finished until they were moving and everything moved with them in a kaleidoscope of sounds and colors.  
  
It made his head throb so he closed his eyes, feeling like he was floating on a bed of cotton balls, his legs moving only because the human was making him but they felt like they weren't his own. He didn't even know he was on a bed, everything around him moved faster than he could comprehend. His quietness, which was nothing new but this was of a different kind, was worrying his mate, he knew but talking was so hard. _I'm fine_ , he wanted to say but instead he slurred some words which ended up in a giggle. An honest to god, childish giggle, which Derek would be mortified about if he was going to remember. Derek Hale does **_not_** giggle. Ever. Except he did, right now.  
  
He was really fine though, that worry in those brown eyes wasn't needed, there was no pain, it was only fire. And he hated fire. It was supposed to scare him, it was usually a mind-numbing kind of fear that made him want to bolt. Fire had killed his family, fire had nearly killed him due to an overzealous hell hound... no, it had killed him, he had been revived. But he remembered how it felt to have his flesh melt while his nerves had screamed at him as much as his voice had done. And this wasn't that kind of fire. It was not fire as in actual fire.

"I hate fire," he concluded, loudly. Look at that, he could still talk. Did he say everything out loud? Maybe? Yeah, his entire tirade about fire killing everything was heard because there was that look on Stiles' face, he didn't like that look on Stiles' face.  
  
"You're looking with your face." No, that wasn't what he wanted to say and he laughed at his own idiocy. "Your face looks." Nope, again not what he meant and he sighed like Beth would when she was frustrated with herself for not being able to do something she wanted to. "You're pretty." Oh hey, that was true, he was so pretty. All glowing ember and gold like a treasure. His treasure.

Stiles did worry when Derek took his sweet time with his reply. At first it wasn't anything coherent either. Just random words that slowly started to come in the right order, mumbling about the fires in his life. Stiles knew about most, so those weren't news to him – not like that adorable giggle! But he knew how deeply Derek had been traumatized by the tragedies that came with fire. So when he practically yelled that he hates fire, Stiles couldn't stop a pang of guilt and pain again, because he kinda _was_ fire. Or at least his Spark resembled mostly that with its amber color and flame-like properties. Even if it didn't set anything or anyone on fire. Yet. And now he tied more fire to Derek's life. And Derek _hated_ fire...  
  
Still, he couldn't stop a chuckle either while listening to the babbling man. "I think you are totally stoned on my magic, Derek. But thanks for the compliment," he smirked and caressed the naked chest before reaching down next to the bed, picking up a bottle of water. "Here, drink some, it should help a bit, you big romantic," he opened the bottle and helped Derek find his mouth with it.  
  
Frankly, he was adorable like this and if he was truly evil, he would've made a video of it, but Stiles wasn't a complete asshole. Derek liked to hog that title to himself – even if Stiles agreed with it only a few times.  
  
"I think you might be like this until you sleep it off," he sighed and took the water from him to drink some too. He knew in the morning they would be starving as dealing with such amount of magic takes a lot out of the body. Even from a werewolf's.Bottom of Form

The fact Derek had been thirsty hadn't registered until cool water found its way into his mouth and down his parched throat and he greedily drank the liquid until it was gone again. It helped with making his tongue feel like it was tongue-like again and he tested it out by moving it. Sticking it in and out of his mouth, moving it in circles because it followed every command. Everything tasted of magic.  
  
"I'm a pirate and you're my treasure, all gold." Which was exactly how he viewed their developing relationship. The Hale was the villain, the dangerous one who did what needed to be done and Stiles was the good, the one to be pursued and cherished. Pirates shouldn't get their ultimate treasure, it didn't work like that in the books for long, or the treasure would turn out to be cursed. So he didn't deserve Stiles but yet he was his now, he did get his gold, stories didn't end like that. They both knew it. It's what they feared, to wait for the other shoe to drop, for karma to take away the happiness because that's how life worked. Happiness was the pirate's treasure too, chasing after that whale until it would kill them.  
  
The sigh of the human let him know that maybe sleep wasn't a bad idea. It wasn't that he felt sleepy, but if the other needed it, then they should do that. His head was too fuzzy to be any good to anybody right now.

"We should sleep," Derek slurred in agreement and he finally took stock of their surroundings, patting on the bed. If they were on the floor, it was a very comfortable floor. Maybe they were on the bed because he didn't remember ever being on a floor so soft. Except when lying down in thick grass in summer time. Stretching a little, he saw and smelled the green grass, the chirping and humming of insects. The sun shining brightly and warmly upon them. Hmm yeah, this was nice.

Stiles chuckled as Derek was rediscovering how his tongue worked. He could've given him a few tips how to put it in use, but he was too tired and finally his magic-induced boner seemed to give up too. "Aren't you a sweet talker, my hairy pirate? Though I thought I am Batman," Stiles smiled a bit bitterly, remembering Erica for a moment. Although Derek's words melted him a bit on the inside. They sounded true and Stiles doubted that Derek would lie in his high state of mind. But then again, maybe he was simply just drunk on his magic. On him.  
  
The younger man hated to feel uncertain about things, and not being able to talk about this whole mate thing and what just happened because Derek was... not exactly in the right mindset for it and he was also cute like this. He didn't want to ruin his high. He hasn’t seen Derek so carefree and relaxed yet. It was a different kind of happy relaxed state than after they had sex. Similar, yes, but still different. At least he should have a good time, right?  
  
"Yes, we go to sleep now," he agreed with a nod and dragged the cover over them, seeing that his pair... his _mate_ was already drifting off to god knows where. Judged by his expression, to a pleasant place. With a sigh Stiles laid down next to him and watched the sleeping man for a while, his hand curling around the edge of the cover over them in a tight grip.

Stiles was struggling with not giving in to the lurking panic attack as his brain started to process that he would’ve probably gone mad or would be dead by then if it weren't for Derek. He should've nagged Deaton more about his abilities in the past. He could've killed both of them if something went wrong with the spell. And Derek was now tied to him with not one, but two very important bonds. He wasn't sure if Derek even wanted the second bond. The most significant for a werewolf.  
  
Pressing his eyes shut, he took deep breaths, focusing on murmuring one of his calming mantras until the danger of going into full panic mode was gone. His body was pulling him down to dreamland too, but he stayed awake for a long time, just lying there, watching Derek.  
  
When he did fall asleep, he dreamed of smoke and fire. He was burning Derek alive with his magic.  
  



End file.
